Holistic wellness of the body, the mind, and the soul has
much to do with happiness, which has its origin from personality development
over the years.
Sometimes we wonder why some people are always happy while
others are always unhappy. Just as Leo Tolstoy, the famous Russian author,
said in the beginning of his novel Anna Karenina: “Happy families are
alike; unhappy families are unhappy in their own ways.”
Indeed, your happiness has much to do with your
personality development over your life. In other words, your own life
experiences and your perceptions of those experiences not only define and shape
your personality but also are uniquely yours. Therefore, it is impossible to
say why some people are happy, and why others are unhappy.
Mental happiness and body wellness are interrelated.
If you are happy, your body will even heal faster. It’s just that simple.
But happiness is not easy to come by, especially when your
mind is not prepared to receive it. The mind needs wisdom to create happiness
thoughts to stimulate the brain cells to produce chemicals that make one happy.
Genuine human happiness comes from human thoughts that are the components of
human personality. Therefore, understanding personality development may
throw some light on why you are happy or unhappy.
But understanding personality development may throw some
light on why you are happy or unhappy most of the time.
According to the famous psychologist Erik Erikson,
your personality has evolved through several decades of changes and
experiences, resulting in who and what you have now become. Therefore, profound
human wisdom is to understand how those
changes in your life have occurred and shaped your personality, and how adapting
yourself to those changes now may still benefit you in the long run. According
to Erik Erikson, there are eight
life stages. through which we may have gone through to become who and what
we are right now. These eight psychosocial development stages are as follows:
Trust and Mistrust
In this first stage, from birth to age one, we
may experience and develop trust or mistrust that affects how we
feel about the benevolence of the world around us.
Do you always have low trust or mistrust in others?
In the toddler stage, we begin to develop our
self-trust, which leads to independence. With self-trust, we begin to
learn how to walk. In this stage, however, we may also develop self-doubt that
leads to shame later in life. This may be the underlying cause of failing to
take risks in later life, missing some golden opportunities to improve our
lives, and thus making us feel unhappy and unfulfilled.
Are you always self-confident?
Creativity and Guilt
In preschool years, we begin to exercise our minds to
acquire initiative and express creativity. The capability to express freely our
initiative and creativity helps us develop the playful and positive side of our
nature. Under restraint, on the other hand, we may develop guilt, lack of
self-confidence, and inability to get close to others.
Are you always creative and imaginative?
Industry and
Inferiority
From age five to eleven, we experience fulfillment in
accomplishment or disappointment in failure. This is often a result of
acquiring our society’s work ethics. We begin to believe in our abilities and
feel motivated to work hard. On the other hand, if we become lazy, we develop
poor work habits that may adversely affect our careers later in life.
Are you always puttering from one job to another, always
procrastinating and never meeting deadlines?
Identity and
Diffusion
In adolescent, we begin to explore ourselves, finding out
who we are and what we want out of life. We may channel our energy into a field
we love, and derive pleasure from seeing what we have accomplished. This growth
in our sense of self determines whether or not we have an “identity crisis.”
Are you always in search for a purpose in life?
Intimacy and
Withdrawal
In early adulthood, we develop intimacy, which is a
quality of an individual, and not the couple. The ability to develop and
maintain a long-term relationship is an asset. However, many of us may
experience difficulty in achieving closeness with others, or even maintaining a
long-lasting relationship, resulting in inner loneliness that causes us to
doubt even our own remarkable accomplishments in life.
Is your life worthwhile when it comes to relationships?
Compassion and
Selfishness
In middle age, we become more connected to future
generations, as evidenced by being parents, mentors, and supervisors. However,
we may also become self-focusing, alienating ourselves from the next
generation, and thus creating the “generation gap.”
Do you spend much time focusing on your own needs, instead
of those of others?
Ego and Despair
In old age, by letting go of the ego, we accept both our
successes and failures, and thus have a healthy perspective on life. However,
we may also look back at our own past experiences and the world in general with
disdain and regret, and thus we become despaired and unhappy.
Do you think you already have a fulfilled life?
If you wish to be a happier individual, learn to let go of all your attachments,
which are the sources of human unhappiness. Human wisdom may not be
adequate to help you let go of your attachments in the physical world; you also
need spiritual wisdom With the spiritual wisdom from the
Bible, you may be able to overcome the reluctance to let go of your
attachments. Let go to let God in order to live your life as if everything is a miracle.
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
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