Wisdom from Books

<b>Wisdom from Books</b>
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Be the Master, Not the Slave, of Your Life

Are you the master or the slave of your life? Often times, we think we are masters of our lives, but in fact we are only slaves. You are the master only when you have complete control over your life. Are you the master or just the slave?

In this day and age of speed, it is easy to lose control over your life, leading to chaos.

How do you gain control over your life in terms of your profession, time, and daily stress? It is not easy because most of us have a conditioned mindset that we must do this and do that in order to succeed in life. In our subconscious minds, we want to do well, and to do well, we must set goals; to reach our goals, we must exert efforts. After accomplishing one goal, we need to set another higher goal, and yet another one higher than the previous one. In the end, lives get complicated and out of control; as a result, we are no longer masters but slaves to what we have accomplished for ourselves.

Don't let your life careen out of control, and don't live a life with a life of its own. Get your life back in order. It may not be that easy; it requires a little wisdom in living.

According to Dr. Ronald Nathan, coauthor of The Doctors' Guide to Instant Stress Relief, the essence of control is your "feeling of in control." That is to say, you confidently believe that there is a purpose in your life, no matter what. With that mindset, you will begin to see things in different perspective: even temporary setbacks will no longer interfere with your long-range visions now that you feel you are in control. To cultivate that “feeling of in control,” you must learn how to act confident in your attitude and body language in whatever you do. Dr. Nathan believes that 80 percent of communication involves body language, while verbal only accounts for only 20 percent.

According to communication expert Germaine Knapp, do the following:

Sit or stand erect (posture and breathing play a pivotal part).

Maintain eye contact. 

Unfold your arms and legs.

Be more expressive in your body language, e.g. nodding your head when you say "yes."

To enhance your confidence of “feeling in control,” cultivate awareness of self and others. Learn to live in the present to develop that awareness. Unfortunately, many of us don't live in the present but in the future with "expectations" that often fail us, creating fear of failure, and hence the daily stress to do more that makes life careen out of control.

In addition to awareness, learn to take little bites in your life to facilitate living in the present; that is, don't bite off more than you can chew. Doing one thing at a time, instead of multi-tasking, not only decreases pressure but also increases adaptability as well as productivity. Don’t create the vicious circle of accomplishing one goal after another.

According to clinical professor Stephen Weinstein, "it is an endless cycle, and they never feel they accomplish much of anything." Blame your parent, who might have erroneously believed that your worth is measured by what you do, and not by who you are; over the years, they might have inculcated that idea in your mind.

Lao Tzu, the ancient Chinese sage, said we should not "over-do" but, instead, do what is only necessary. There is little wisdom in "the sky is the limit" or "I can do anything." Don't simply believe that putting your nose to the grindstone will make you succeed; it won't! There is no such thing as an "A" for effort for success.

Remember, success has to do with who you are, and not what you do. Don't use up your body's resources and compromise your immune system; stress and stress-related diseases (most diseases originate from stress) are hurdles and stumbling blocks on the way to success, if you decide to take that journey

Remember, a master can go anyway and anywhere, while a slave only follows the master.

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau 

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