Wisdom from Books

<b>Wisdom from Books</b>
Stephen Lau's website to help you get the wisdom to live as if everything is a miracle!

Saturday, March 28, 2015

One True Life Obligation

You may think you have many life obligations, such as taking care of your loved ones, your family, and your career, among others. But there is only one true life obligation: to be who you are.

We are all created to be in this world for only one purpose: to be our true self, and not to be what we wish we were. Conventional wisdom tells us to find our role model, pursue our life goals based on that role model. Accordingly, we begin to dream that we are someone else that we are not. This is how we create an ego for ourselves.

What is an ego-self? Simply look at yourself in front of a mirror. What do you see? A self reflection. Is it for real? Can you touch it? Not really; it is only a reflection of something real--you!

Now, do something slightly different. Place a baby in front of the mirror, if there's one available. The baby may crawl towards the baby in the mirror. Why? Because the baby thinks that the baby in the mirror is another baby, and not his or her own reflection.

My point? The ego-self is unreal: it is only a reflection of your thoughts; that is, your ego self is what you think or hope you are. The ego-self is formed over the years, transforming you into someone else. Therefore, your one true life obligation is to be the person standing in front of the mirror, and not the reflection in the mirror.

What's wrong with being the reflected person in the mirror? \For one thing, it is unreal. For another, if it is a positive image, you expect to sustain it; it it is a negative one, you hope to avoid it. To illustrate, if you have accomplished something wonderful, your mind creates your ego, making you believe that you are really wonderful; you will then repeat doing what you have done in order to protect and sustain your ego.  By the same token, if you have failed to accomplish something, you have a deflated ego; you will then avoid doing the same thing in the past in order to expect a different outcome in the future. The moral lesson: be who you are, and do what you need to do or want to do, but without any expectation, which comes from the false ego-self. Remember, you are neither better not worse; you are just who you are. It is the expectation to protect or sustain the ego that leads to picking and choosing, and in the process creates undue stress that is the source of all human miseries.

All in all, God will not judge you for your success or failure, but He will judge you for not being who you are meant to be. After all, He created you for a specific purpose for being your true self and act accordingly. Never ever compare yourself to others!

Read my book Be A Better And Happier You With Tao Wisdom. Remember, you were created to be good and happy, so don't let your ego mess up your life.

Stephen Lau
Copyright © Stephen Lau

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Thursday, March 19, 2015

Why You Need to Love Yourself

We’re living in a world of conflicts and wars, but love still plays a pivotal role in our lives. Love involves our feelings and emotions; love gives us both happiness and pain. When the love is fulfilled, we feel happy; when the love is rejected or unfilled, we feel pain. 

In Christianity, love refers to the love of God and the love of one’s neighbors or even enemies. In Buddhism, love refers to an awakened state of mind; the word “Buddha” means “wake up.”

If you want to love others—no matter they deserve your love or not—you must love yourself first. .
Ironically enough, it‘s not easy to love yourself, let alone loving others, especially those you’re not particularly fond of.  

To love yourself is not as easy as you may think.

You may be judgmental: being hard on yourself, and feeling your inadequacy in spite of some success in your life. That is, your accomplishments to date may not be good enough for you, and therefore you want more.

You may have a pre-conditioned set of criteria for yourself, based on the self-image you have created for yourself, such as being too fat.

So, the first step is to change your perspectives of how you look at yourself or others. If there is anything you wish to change, then make the effort to change it. If you can’t, then accept what you cannot change. Self-acceptance is an important ingredient in the expression of love. If you cannot accept yourself, there is no way for you to accept others, let alone loving them.

To initiate any change, you must be mindful of why you need to change, and how to go about making the change. Mindfulness holds the key to discovering how you think and feel about yourself. 

Empty your mind of any pre-conditioned thinking or conventional mindset. For example, many of us are ingrained in our minds that the purpose of life is to enjoy—that has led to our quest for materialism. Another example, many of us have the belief that we all have inherited badness from the Fall of Adam, and therefore we may feel guilty for not being good enough, and thus leading to depression. 

All in all, to be able to love others, you need to love yourself first. To do just that, you need to empty your mind, and be mindful of the need to change your perspectives and to accept what you cannot change.

Read my book Be A Better and Happy You With Tao Wisdom to find out how to have a loving and compassionate mind with Tao wisdom and live your life as if everything is a miracle.

Stephen Lau
Copyright © Stephen Lau


Monday, March 9, 2015

Human Natural Gift

We were all born with a natural gift -- freedom from anxiety and fear, expectation and regret, ambition and disappointment. However, as we grow older, we knowingly or unknowingly abuse or misuse that natural gift.

This is how.

We begin to develop our sensations and become affected by them. We all have our five senses: seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, and tasting; they then become our perceptions and sensations that are stored as memories in our subconscious minds. Over the long haul, these accumulative experiences form our beliefs and personalities, and make us who we are. In other words, these memories become our bondage and we no longer have that innate freedom.

It is difficult to regain that natural gift once we have relinquished it. To illustrate, if we experienced something unpleasant in the past, we might have anxiety and fear that it would happen again. On the other hand, if we experience something pleasant, we would expect it to happen again; our expectations begin to precondition our minds to do certain things that we think will enable us to fulfill that expectations; by doing so, we pick and choose; any wrong choice or decision may lead to regret. By the same token, disappointment may be the consequence of ambition. 

How do we regain that natural gift?

Understand the natural cycle of things. Everything follows a natural cycle: what goes up must come down; the cycle is like the four seasons, or day and night. We, as humans, naively believe that we can change the natural order of things, deluding ourselves into thinking that we can make things happen the way we want them. Not following the natural order stems from the human ego. Accepting things as they are is the pathway to true human wisdom  It is by no means a passive outlook of life: we do what we can, and no more, and with no expectation and no judgment, 

“Good fortune and misfortune are all in one.
Seeking one and rejecting the other,
we become completely confused.”
(Chapter 58, Tao Te Ching)

 “There is no gain without loss.
There is no abundance without lack.
We do not know how and when
one gives way to the other.”
(Chapter 42, Tao Te Ching)

Stephen Lau

Copyright © Stephen Lau

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