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<b>Wisdom from Books</b>
Stephen Lau's website to help you get the wisdom to live as if everything is a miracle!

Friday, May 9, 2014

Overcoming Wedding Stress

My daughter got married in May, 2013 -- almost a year ago. Now as I look back, it was a wonderful wedding: it was a simple wedding, very well planned, and everybody enjoyed it.  Now it's May, and you may be hearing wedding bells: loved ones, friends and relatives are getting or planning to get married.

A wedding is a lifetime grand event for great celebration. However, it may create undue stress. Planning a wedding may take months or even more than a year, and therefore the stress may be cumulative and protracted. Overcoming wedding stress, you need to understand the causes of wedding stress. 

There are four main causes of wedding stress:

Money is the major factor in wedding stress. A wedding is about spending money, and financial stress is often a byproduct of a wedding. An average wedding in the United States may cost between $20,000 and $30,000, and a 5-tier wedding cake could have a price tag of well over $2,000, not to mention the other accessories that come with the celebration, such as wedding attire, the ceremony and the reception, among others. Everything costs money, and money creates stress, especially in this economic environment.

The second cause of wedding stress is the wedding planning with the many details of the wedding. Although it is often just a one-day event, a wedding involves many details, such as the ceremony, the reception, the honeymoon, the bachelorette parties, the rehearsal dinner, the bridal dress, the bouquets and flowers, the gifts and favors, the decoration, and the photography, among others. Each comes with its many unique details that demand attention and planning, involving a multitude of venues and personnel. On top of that, they  are often a source of conflicts, disagreements, and disputes among those involved..

Time element is another cause of wedding stress. Wedding planning requires time to put everything in the right order and in the right place. However, procrastination, a common human weakness, may become the source of stress and hassle in the planning and the outcome of the wedding.

Finally, man proposes but God disposes. Unpleasant surprises and mishaps may get in the way during the planning process, or worse, on the wedding day. No matter how organized and thoughtful is your planning, something may go wrong, such as the vendor has gone out of business, the Maid of Honor has fallen sick, or the photographer has failed to turn up due to an accident. 

To overcome wedding stress, you must plan ahead, give yourself sufficient time to deal with all the anticipated and unforeseeable issues.while planning a wedding.

If money is no object to you, by all means plan a lavish wedding. However, many of us do not have that luxury at our disposal, so the option is to go for a budget wedding, in which all unnecessary costs have been eliminated and all wedding items have been acquired at their best prices. A budget wedding is essentially a "resoureful" wedding based on the principle of "dollars and sense." It is important to understand that a wedding, which is only a one-day event, is only a part of a marriage, and that it is crucial for a married couple to enter into their married life without incurring a big consumer debt. The bottom line: Spend according to your means.

Planning a wedding is no easy task. For this reason, it is important to involve your family members and close friends as well; you don't have to listen to them, but they may help you one way or the other. Delegate them with fun errands and wedding projects. Don't try to do everything yourself. Learn to relax and enjoy the planning process.
Conflicts and disagreements are inevitable during the planning process. Look upon wedding planning as an opportunity to experience what married life is all about. For a marriage to work, a couple must understand each other's needs, differences and preferences, and, most importantly, the need for compromise. Planning based on agreement and disagreement will help the couple to prepare for the married life ahead ofthem. To deal with time stress and procrastination, get yourself organized. If both you and your partner are unorganized, consider hiring a wedding consultant, even though it adds cost to the budget. 

No matter how careful you may have been with your wedding planning, something may still go wrong. Look at everything in perspective. Just remember that the wedding is only a small part of your marriage. Don't lose focus on what is the most important: your marriage, not the wedding. It is the love and bond with your future spouse that matters, so fully utilize wedding planning to enhance that love and bond. Keep this in perspective whenever you feel any wedding stress.

Just be yourself, and learn how to relax and enjoy the engagement and experience of wedding planning prior to the wedding.

Stephen Lau 
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