Accepting and Embracing Life Problems and Challenges

Life is never smooth sailing, and life journey is always a bumpy ride, full of changes and challenges. Learn to live your life as if everything is a miracle, including the miracle of accepting and embracing those life problems and challenges.

To illustrate, after the death of a dear friend or someone close to you, you may experience a period of denial—refusing to accept the harsh reality of death. This is the human mind's way of protecting us from painful emotions associated with grief and sorrow. 

Sorrow may bring anger: anger with yourself or whoever responsible for the death of your loved one. The human mind always looks for an answer or an explanation of why something undesirable happened. If you blame yourself, then guilt and regret may ensue; if you blame others, anger is generated.

The next phase is bargaining with God about reversing what has happened to you. You use "what if?" and "if only" sort of pleas to bargain for second chances.

After the initial denial, reality begins to sink in. You start to feel the bereavement that cause you to sink into deep depression with negative emotions of grief, regret, and sorrow. This is the darkest or even the longest stage of grief and sorrow. 

The only way to overcome pain and sorrow is accepting and embracing. Sooner or later, you will come to terms with the death of your loved one when you become aware that everything is going to be OK, that you will survive the loss of your loved one, and go on living as if everything is a miracle even though your life may be different without your loved one.

What causes stress and its related negative emotions? Your resistance to life is the ultimate cause of your body stress and negative emotions. You will not experience negative emotions, such as anger, anxiety, fear, frustration, and sadness if you do not resist anything in your life, past, present or future. By not accepting something unpleasant in present or in the past, you have subconsciously created memories that project the unpleasant present or past experience into the future, and your resisting of the possibility of a repeat of that present or past experience creates fear and anxiety.

Instead of accepting negative emotions, many of us prefer not to experience them, and end up resisting not only life but also negative emotions. Instead of accepting, resisting only leads to more stress and negative emotions, and thus creating a vicious circle of resistance and stress.

Live your life as if everything is a miracle by letting go of resistance, and accept what life has to offer. Find your hidden resistance in your life and learn to embrace it, if you  cannot let it go.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Wisdom from the Presidential Election

The presidential election was over! We could all get wisdom from it.

"Life is a learning process, which continues throughout the life journey until the destination is reached. That is to say, one can always learn something from almost anything, provided one has an empty mind, which is a reverse mindset.

Many of us think with a preconditioned mindset, that is, the mind is already loaded with data that has become the subconscious mind directing the conscious mind. Remember, we are living in an all assumptive world. Once we begin with an assumption (just any notion), that assumption may generate a presumption. With the human ego thinking that we are always right, we begin to develop a prediction that our assumption would become a reality in the future. Accordingly, the mind anticipates an expectation to be fulfilled somehow. That is how the human mind operates, but not how the reality may turn out.

To illustrate, in this presidential election, people made an assumption that a certain candidate would be the ideal candidate for president. The notion then became a presumption, reinforced by the media and the polls, turning it into a prediction that finally became the expectation of the voters. The devastating outcome was the ultimate frustration of the voters supporting the candidate.

This is the reality:

Assumption + presumption + prediction + expectation = frustration

A reverse mindset is the antidote to the above. Before your assumption becomes a presumption, rethink your assumption: remember, there are many exceptions to any assumption. Wisdom is thinking about the exceptions rather than the norm, instead of the other way around. Focusing on the norm often leads to hasty presumption, and then natural prediction and ultimate expectation, leading to frustration at the end.

Likewise, in the presidential election, voters readily jumped from their assumption into their presumption, prediction, and expectation without questioning the authenticity and reality of each. The outcome of frustration was the inevitable norm, and not the exception."

The above is from Health and Wisdom Tips.

Remember, don't be assumptive; always look at the exceptions and not the norm. Life is forever changing, and a static life is not worth living. Adapt yourself to the changes, or change yourself  Worse scenario, if you can't do either, embrace the changes, and that is the wisdom in living.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau