Wisdom from Books

<b>Wisdom from Books</b>
Stephen Lau's website to help you get the wisdom to live as if everything is a miracle!

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Accepting and Embracing Life Problems and Challenges

Life is never smooth sailing, and life journey is always a bumpy ride, full of changes and challenges. Learn to live your life as if everything is a miracle, including the miracle of accepting and embracing those life problems and challenges.

To illustrate, after the death of a dear friend or someone close to you, you may experience a period of denial—refusing to accept the harsh reality of death. This is the human mind's way of protecting us from painful emotions associated with grief and sorrow. 

Sorrow may bring anger: anger with yourself or whoever responsible for the death of your loved one. The human mind always looks for an answer or an explanation of why something undesirable happened. If you blame yourself, then guilt and regret may ensue; if you blame others, anger is generated.

The next phase is bargaining with God about reversing what has happened to you. You use "what if?" and "if only" sort of pleas to bargain for second chances.

After the initial denial, reality begins to sink in. You start to feel the bereavement that cause you to sink into deep depression with negative emotions of grief, regret, and sorrow. This is the darkest or even the longest stage of grief and sorrow. 

The only way to overcome pain and sorrow is accepting and embracing. Sooner or later, you will come to terms with the death of your loved one when you become aware that everything is going to be OK, that you will survive the loss of your loved one, and go on living as if everything is a miracle even though your life may be different without your loved one.

What causes stress and its related negative emotions? Your resistance to life is the ultimate cause of your body stress and negative emotions. You will not experience negative emotions, such as anger, anxiety, fear, frustration, and sadness if you do not resist anything in your life, past, present or future. By not accepting something unpleasant in present or in the past, you have subconsciously created memories that project the unpleasant present or past experience into the future, and your resisting of the possibility of a repeat of that present or past experience creates fear and anxiety.

Instead of accepting negative emotions, many of us prefer not to experience them, and end up resisting not only life but also negative emotions. Instead of accepting, resisting only leads to more stress and negative emotions, and thus creating a vicious circle of resistance and stress.

Live your life as if everything is a miracle by letting go of resistance, and accept what life has to offer. Find your hidden resistance in your life and learn to embrace it, if you  cannot let it go.

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Why Some People Are Happy and Some People Are Unhappy

Holistic wellness of the body, the mind, and the soul has much to do with happiness, which has its origin from personality development over the years.

Sometimes we wonder why some people are always happy while others are always unhappy. Just as Leo Tolstoy, the famous Russian author, said in the beginning of his novel Anna Karenina: “Happy families are alike; unhappy families are unhappy in their own ways.”

Indeed, your happiness has much to do with your personality development over your life. In other words, your own life experiences and your perceptions of those experiences not only define and shape your personality but also are uniquely yours. Therefore, it is impossible to say why some people are happy, and why others are unhappy.

 Mental happiness and body wellness are interrelated. If you are happy, your body will even heal faster. It’s just that simple.

But happiness is not easy to come by, especially when your mind is not prepared to receive it. The mind needs wisdom to create happiness thoughts to stimulate the brain cells to produce chemicals that make one happy. Genuine human happiness comes from human thoughts that are the components of human personality. Therefore,  understanding personality development may throw some light on why you are happy or unhappy.
But understanding personality development may throw some light on why you are happy or unhappy most of the time.

According to the famous psychologist Erik Erikson, your personality has evolved through several decades of changes and experiences, resulting in who and what you have now become. Therefore, profound wisdom is to understand how those changes in your life have occurred and shaped your personality, and how adapting yourself to those changes now may still benefit you in the long run. According to Erik Erikson, there are eight life stages. through which we may have gone through to become who and what we are right now. These eight psychosocial development stages are as follows:

Trust and Mistrust

 In this first stage, from birth to age one, we may  experience and develop trust or mistrust that affects how we feel about the benevolence of the world around us.

Do you always have low trust or mistrust in others?

Independence and Doubt

In the toddler stage, we begin to develop our self-trust,  which leads to independence. With self-trust, we begin to learn how to walk. In this stage, however, we may also develop self-doubt that leads to shame later in life. This may be the underlying cause of failing to take risks in later life, missing some golden opportunities to improve our lives, and thus making us feel unhappy and unfulfilled.

Are you always self-confident?

Creativity and Guilt

In preschool years, we begin to exercise our minds to acquire initiative and express creativity. The capability to express freely our initiative and creativity helps us develop the playful and positive side of our nature. Under restraint, on the other hand, we may develop guilt, lack of self-confidence, and inability to get close to others.

Are you always creative and imaginative?

Industry and Inferiority

From age five to eleven, we experience fulfillment in accomplishment or disappointment in failure. This is often a result of acquiring our society’s work ethics. We begin to believe in our abilities and feel motivated to work hard. On the other hand, if we become lazy, we develop poor work habits that may adversely affect our careers later in life.

Are you always puttering from one job to another, always procrastinating and never meeting deadlines?

Identity and Diffusion

In adolescent, we begin to explore ourselves, finding out who we are and what we want out of life. We may channel our energy into a field we love, and derive pleasure from seeing what we have accomplished. This growth in our sense of self determines whether or not we have an “identity crisis.”

Are you always in search for a purpose in life?

Intimacy and Withdrawal

In early adulthood, we develop intimacy, which is a quality of an individual, and not the couple. The ability to develop and maintain a long-term relationship is an asset. However, many of us may experience difficulty in achieving closeness with others, or even maintaining a long-lasting relationship, resulting in inner loneliness that causes us to doubt even our own remarkable accomplishments in life.

Is your life worthwhile when it comes to relationships?

Compassion and Selfishness

In middle age, we become more connected to future generations, as evidenced by being parents, mentors, and supervisors. However, we may also become self-focusing, alienating ourselves from the next generation, and thus creating the “generation gap.”

Do you spend much time focusing on your own needs, instead of those of others?

Ego and Despair

In old age, by letting go of the ego, we accept both our successes and failures, and thus have a healthy perspective on life. However, we may also look back at our own past experiences and the world in general with disdain and regret, and thus we become despaired and unhappy.

Do you think you already have a fulfilled life?

If you wish to be a happier individual, learn to let go of all your attachments, which are the sources of human unhappiness. Human wisdom may not be adequate to help you let go of your attachments in the physical world; you also need spiritual wisdom With the spiritual wisdom from the Bible, you may be able to overcome the reluctance to let go of your attachments. Let go to let God in order to live your life as if everything is a miracle.

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Wisdom from the Presidential Election

The presidential election was over! We could all get wisdom from it.

"Life is a learning process, which continues throughout the life journey until the destination is reached. That is to say, one can always learn something from almost anything, provided one has an empty mind, which is a reverse mindset.

Many of us think with a preconditioned mindset, that is, the mind is already loaded with data that has become the subconscious mind directing the conscious mind. Remember, we are living in an all assumptive world. Once we begin with an assumption (just any notion), that assumption may generate a presumption. With the human ego thinking that we are always right, we begin to develop a prediction that our assumption would become a reality in the future. Accordingly, the mind anticipates an expectation to be fulfilled somehow. That is how the human mind operates, but not how the reality may turn out.

To illustrate, in this presidential election, people made an assumption that a certain candidate would be the ideal candidate for president. The notion then became a presumption, reinforced by the media and the polls, turning it into a prediction that finally became the expectation of the voters. The devastating outcome was the ultimate frustration of the voters supporting the candidate.

This is the reality:

Assumption + presumption + prediction + expectation = frustration

A reverse mindset is the antidote to the above. Before your assumption becomes a presumption, rethink your assumption: remember, there are many exceptions to any assumption. Wisdom is thinking about the exceptions rather than the norm, instead of the other way around. Focusing on the norm often leads to hasty presumption, and then natural prediction and ultimate expectation, leading to frustration at the end.

Likewise, in the presidential election, voters readily jumped from their assumption into their presumption, prediction, and expectation without questioning the authenticity and reality of each. The outcome of frustration was the inevitable norm, and not the exception."

The above is from Health and Wisdom Tips.

Remember, don't be assumptive; always look at the exceptions and not the norm. Life is forever changing, and a static life is not worth living. Adapt yourself to the changes, or change yourself  Worse scenario, if you can't do either, embrace the changes, and that is the wisdom in living.

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Is Holistic Health Right for You?

Holistic health is the pursuit of the highest qualities of the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of the human experience in order to initiate holistic healing to recover from any disease or disorder.

Is holistic health for everyone?

Almost anyone can pursue holistic health. But for the individual to eventually embrace holistic health, he or she must have the following attributes:

Intent to heal

The intent to heal is expressed in a deep desire to improve health in order to heal. That begins with self-awareness. That is, you must, first of all, become aware of the need for living for life to the fullest. If you are already content with the life you are living at the present moment, you will continue with your current lifestyle patterns. If, on the other hand, you are dissatisfied, you will have to make meaningful changes in your life. So, it has to do with self-awareness of the intent to heal.


Life is full of choices, and holistic health is simply a choice. You are responsible for your life. Once you decide that the power to change is well within you, almost anything can happen. But if you hand over your responsibility for your health and well-being to the professionals, you cannot and will not live your life to the fullest. Why? It is because others cannot live your life for you; given that life is about choices, nobody can make those life choices for you, and, above all, no one can establish balance and harmony in your life.


Self-acceptance is as important as self-responsibility in holistic health. You must accept yourself for what and who you are. Never strive to become the someone else that you are not. Mental anguish impairs holistic health.


Empower yourself with knowledge and information so that you may have the wisdom to discern the truths from the myths about health and healing. For example, there is a growing body of evidence showing that antibiotics and other pharmaceutical drugs weaken the body's immune system, and thus increases the susceptibility to illness over the long haul. 

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau